The classic solution to running unsafe extensions while serving large numbers (>100) of concurrent connections is to run PHP on fastCGI (mod_fcgid, a native apache module) and proxy dynamic requests to that from an apache instance that runs the Worker MPM.
This would enable you to scale from a few hundred up to >1000 concurrent connections with a modest amount of memory (4~8GB) when serving a mix of static and dynamic content.
Of course, you should also investigate front-end caching solutions as part of your overall deployment (memcached, varnish).
Alternatively, upgrade to apache 2.4 and its native event MPM, which handles concurrency in a much improved fashion (threads are fired off upon connection, not waiting to be polled.)
Currently it seems you can add a custom user script to enable/maintain Apache + PHP-FPM with Virtualmin, but it’s officially unsupported. User janeksikora has created a script to do this with nginx + PHP-FPM…
“I’ve managed to do php-fpm&nginx with a 100 line script that is executing after creating/destroying vservers (it creates php-fpm pool for each host) and modyfing source of virtualmin-nginx module (so it uses sockets – easier [sockets are like $user.socket] and faster [than TCP]). Wasn’t so hard…”