I’m fast concluding it was somewhere in the nameserver chain, perhaps when the domain was transferred between registrars the original was with 1AND1 then moved to PORKBUN - so uk to us.
I just do not see any profit in chasing it further.
You can know if it’s DNS (do the A records point to your IP or not or are there any CNAME records pointing somewhere nefarious?). And, it doesn’t sound like it was DNS here.
The A records (MX and AAAA) were all correct on the DNS provider (LINODE) there were no CNAME there. and with the correct IP on the US.
however using those tools showed NS A AAAA all pointing to Koeln, Germany! the MX pointed to 127.0.0.1 (so complaining to Sedo a bit of a dead end)
That tool also showed multiple CNAMES and TXT records.
deletion of the VS (and rebuilding in Virtualmin (drastic measure I know) at least gives me new passwords and new SSH keys. the backup (day one) at least was clean (no external code) it is then down to the domain owner to bring it back to date. i don’t think it was much used anyway or I might have been more attentive. there are only 5 VS on this VM and the others seem unaffected.