I stopped sendmail and now postfix will stay running but i cannot figure out why
sendmail was not showing up on the system information screen as a green play button showing me that it was running.
shouldent every service show up there for me to see and manage ?
No. 
The System Information page is about the services Virtualmin is configured to manage. If it were configured to manage Sendmail, then it would show Sendmail. But, it was configured to use Postfix in your case…so it was showing Postfix (this is configurable in the Module Configuration). Which was down…so it was showing that it was down.
All of this would be automatic, and everything would (usually) Just Work, if the install script were used. I know you’re getting tired of hearing this. It’s just that you’ve signed up for a lot of work…and it doesn’t sound like you really want to do a lot of work. So, your best bet would almost certainly be to start over with a Grade A supported OS and run install.sh. You’ll thank us for it, anyway, when Fedora 9 is deprecated six months from now and you would have had to upgrade in a hurry in order to keep current and secure. I love Fedora on the desktop (it’s what I’m using right now), but it’s just asking for trouble on a server.